Why Women FOLLOW Tall Guys And What Short Guys CAN PERFORM About It

Picture this: The stunningly handsome male lead of this new rom-com movie leans directly into kiss his equally stunning female lead. Except something is off – he’s shorter than she happens to be.. but you aren’t supposed to detect that basically. No serious Hollywood romance worth its salt would stage this sort of scene, despite the fact that the male lead actor involved is actually shorter than his female counterpart.
All sorts of angling tricks, as well as solutions high-tech (CGI) and low-tech (the actor literally sitting on a platform) will undoubtedly be used to make certain all is right in this cinematic world. Which means the man will be just a little bit taller than the woman.
That small difference is essentially the golden mean of heterosexual couple height, a pleasing ratio whose presence crops up so often that we don’t even know it’s there, well, until it’s not. And when that height difference isn’t there, look out, gents. Online dating chats between otherwise promising matches can be cut short. Jokes will be made in group DMs and texts, too. Being short seems to mark you as inadequate in the eyes of some with no real explanation as to why.
But what’s the big deal about height? Why do women go for tall guys? There’s nothing inherently better about being tall – in and of itself, hitting the 6′ mark doesn’t confer many genuine advantages beyond, say, having the ability to reach things on the top shelf.
And yet there is a sense of genuine mystique when it comes to tall men, like they’re diamonds in the rough that simply shine brighter than their shorter brethren.
We spoke with various women and men, as well as a professional dating coach, to obtain the low-down on why women prefer tall guys (and what short guys can do about it).
1. Why Are Taller Guys Considered Sexier?
The short answer? It’s complicated. For just one, not everyone finds taller guys sexier. We also can’t objectively know why anyone finds anything attractive.
Sexual and aesthetic preferences are tricky things. If the annals of people attempting to not in favor of their sexual impulses is any indication, they appear to obey no master.
Concurrently, that argument might have both negative and positive tones. It is usually empowering for queer visitors to assert that their desires are portion of who they’re, not choices that may be powered down through sheer shall or outside intervention. Concurrently, saying, I’m not drawn to people such as this” is weaponized against people from marginalized groups of a wide range and left at that.
The issue of the attractiveness of short men maps inelegantly onto that notion somewhat. On normally the one hand, short men certainly are a marginalized group hardly; there is no organized effort to get rid of 5’6” men from the earth, or to deny 5’5” men from public spaces. 5’4” men aren’t denied rights predicated on their height, and 5’3” men aren’t put to death or arrested for failing to measure up.
However, it’s pretty clear that there’s a bias against shorter men in relation to sexual and romantic prospects for most women; a bias that comes off shallow relatively.
A complete large amount of women like taller men given that they equate height to overall strength,” says dating coach Connell Barrett. That is caveman-and-cavewoman. It’s evolutionary. For a couple women, tall equals power, and in the dating game power equals attraction. A taller man could possibly be seen as being stronger possibly, and for that justification able to fight off threats.”
I really believe I find height attractive especially. And I really believe I think it is attractive because it is really a sublime effect where Personally i think sort of tiny/smaller/protected by tall people.” – Mary, 5’5”
Whether there’s any truth to that genetic predisposition, it’s certainly a truth that’s culturally encoded. From birth onward, men learn one way or another that to be tall is to be manly. Attractive men in popular media are either tall or made to seem tall. Those men deemed unattractive – whether villainous, cowardly, fey or non-sexual – are often short.
That’s not the only dichotomy we see in popular media between the leading man archetype and the men cast in other roles – things like scars, glasses, acne, thinning hair, unimpressive musculatures and weak chins are included to help ram home which guy the audience should root for (and which they should root against).
The shallowness of that binary, combined with the consistency with which it is used, means that guys on the outside looking in are at a disadvantage. Anyone they seek to date will have already absorbed, to some degree or other, the message that being tall means being hot.
And while lots of those traits can be managed with a little bit of time, effort and money, height in particular isn’t at the mercy of the whims of the vain. Short guys, then, might feel just like they’re obtaining the short end of the stick constantly.
2. What Do Guys CONSIDER Height Differences?
I simply never went for taller girls. Always got nervous. THEREFORE I wouldn’t know if tall girls would date me. I was always upfront to women on dating apps before I went. Some would stop responding. It really is what it really is.” – Mark, 5’3”
With regards to height differences when dating, it certainly depends upon how tall you’re. For straight guys, height is kind of a you-have-it-or-you-don’t proposition. Using one side of the equation are guys who probably never consider it, and on another, you have guys whose whole dating lives feel marked and circumscribed by that.
I’ve honestly hardly ever really considered it much, that i guess is portion of the privilege of my height being normatively attractive. I really do find taller women sexy – I’m more likely to date someone who’s 5’10” than someone who’s 5’2” – but if there was any kind of a genuine connection, I definitely wouldn’t let a few inches of height change my mind.” – Ian, 6’1”
As with many things gendered, a lot of the anger in the discourse around height with dating comes from men who feel
like they’re being treated unfairly.
Though tall women also have a problem with cultural predispositions towards a taller man/shorter woman dynamic, occasionally having to put their heights in their dating profile bios , it’s short men who make up the bulk of the conversation, both in number and intensity.
Some short men have even gone so far as to coin terms like heightism” and height supremacy” to align the discrimination they feel they experience with other forms of social inequality.
“I dated one guy who was 5’5″. He would not shut up about it. We continued five or six dates. He didn’t kiss me before last of our dates… then ghosted me. I also dated another guy who was simply like maybe 5’6″. He didn’t discuss it that much, but clearly needed reassurance. He was good during intercourse, but I felt enjoy it was partly because he was enthusiastic about compensating.” – Sarah, 5’6″
While height discrimination doesn’t, for example, include laws on which it is possible to and can’t do, it could definitely have a pernicious influence on one’s self-esteem in case you are rejected again and again for something you can’t control. And it’s really hardly relegated to heterosexual dating, either. One place where people may not realize height discrimination is really a thing is in the gay community, where guys can’t blame “reverse sexism,” or an intrinsic gender divide to be shallowly dismissed.
I’ve had guys literally tell me, ‘Oh, I thought you’re taller. Sorry, it will not work,’ the next we meet. My height is on my dating profile.” – Alex, 5’6”
Of course, it doesn’t mean being on the shorter side is really a death sentence to your dating chances, irrespective of who you’re drawn to.
I’ve met and coached countless shorter men who’ve had amazing success with tall women,” says Barrett. Shorter guys have nothing to fear but fear itself. The chance is letting self-consciousness about their height turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy resulting in dating failure In the event a shorter guy is loaded with doubt and fear about his attractiveness, his confidence will plummet, making him less confident – and that will bring about the rejection he fears. At fault is low confidence However, not the idea that he’s 5’5”.”
3. What’s the Women’s Perspective on Height Differences?
When talking to several ladies, there wasn’t zero bias against short guys, but there wasn’t wall-to-wall disapproval of these, either.
Frankly, the most common sentiment heard was an openness to the possibility of dating shorter men – if only those men were also open to it, and not stressed about their own height.
Making decisions about who you’re dating based on how you physically look next to each other is so dark, so wrong, so misguided. If you need to wear heels, and it will make you taller than your partner and that bothers you, that is a basic ‘you’ problem you need to deal with before you impose it on anybody else.” – Molly, 5’11”
Another aspect that gets brought up a fair amount in the male height discussion is that it’s equivalent to the discussion around females and their weight. Some men think if an online is opened by way of a woman dating conversation by requesting how tall you’re, it’s fair game to ask her just how much she weighs.
Though the a couple of things measure different concepts vastly, they’re both numbers that get weaponized specifically against one gender a lot more than the other. Also to be fair, asking a pointed question about someone’s body in the early going can be an impolite thing to do.
I love short men really. As a short woman, they’re so near me.” – Viola, 5’2”
4. JUST WHAT EXACTLY CAN Shorter Guys Do to obtain an Advantage?
I really believe it’s more failing woefully to possess your height, or even a perceived insecurity about it that’s more of a turn off when compared to height itself. In the event a dude writes 5’4” on the profile, sure, whatever, I’m sure some women are superficial and could swipe away. The dudes who say ‘5’4 However,” if that matters for you personally. Bitches, man,’ will probably strike out, completely.” – Jen, 5’4”
There’s something to be said with regards to a proactive approach to your shortcomings, in terms of overcoming a height deficit however, it might be a complete case of less is more.
That is, guys who take maximalist approaches – dressing to create themselves seem taller actively, wearing lifts, and deciding on leg-extension surgery – run the chance of over-correcting something that isn’t as big of an issue as they believe that it is.
I’ve only dated taller guys because every time I approach a brief dude, it looks like he’s got more of an issue with it than me. Once, I asked a guy to prom and he said no because he thought it would ‘look weird in photos.’ Like, broaden your brain, dude.” – Faith, 5’6”
Instead, the very best change you could make as a shorter guy is really a mental shift. That isn’t to say that you ought to pretend that the chances aren’t stacked against you (because, let’s face it, they type of are in comparison to your taller brethren), but you shouldn’t make a mountain out of a molehill.
Success with women is about the value as men we offer them,” says Barrett. So yes, height is a form of value in some women’s eyes, but there are many ways to compensate. Shorter guys can show their value and worthiness to women by having great eye contact, speaking with a resonant vocal tonality, becoming funnier and more charismatic, being better story-tellers.”
It might be one strike against you to be height-challenged, but having a bad attitude about is another.
Height is a nice bonus, but it’s so overrated,” adds Barrett. The truth is, plenty of tall women say they don’t date shorter guys, but if a 5’5” dude is cool and confident and making her giggle, she’ll forget about her so-called height rule. With regards to dating amazing women, being a guy who’s smart, cool and funny is better than being 6’4” with ripped abs.”
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