February 14th is approaching. At this point, day you could be considering friends around you and their plans for the big. And you’ll be scrambling, thinking last-minute in what that can be done to impress her last-minute.
Here’s what I want you to do. Take a breath, relax, and don’t be worried about celebrating this stupid holiday.
Valentine’s Day is actually a fitness in exploiting the uncertainty that include relationships, and new ones particularly. You’re so scared of screwing through to the vague chance your girlfriend really, really, would like you to celebrate ROMANTIC DAYS CELEBRATION you’re ready to splash out any sum of money, whatever’s handy, giving it to whomever is ready to make use of the insufficient uncertainty in your relationship to make a quick buck.
Don’t believe me? Year somebody did a survey relating to this Last, and found that in NEW YORK, restaurants raise the cost of meals for two by around $275 on ROMANTIC DAYS CELEBRATION. So ask, yourself the question now: Come February 14, do you wish to be on the list of suckers paying it certainly, sitting in a room full of people trying too hard?
To illustrate how absurd this day has become, it’s estimated that the US spends just under $20 billion every year on Valentine’s Day. (For comparison, that’s about four times more than the government spends fighting cancer annually.) Valentine’s Day is far less about true love than it is about being a retail orgy between the three long months between Christmas and the orgy of Shamrock and Guinness-buying that is St. Patrick’s Day. We need something in between, hence the rose-colored abomination that we cobbled out of a probably made-up origin story about a celibate priest getting decapitated during Roman times.
So as not to sound like Comrade Marx here, none of this would actually be a problem if what you’re getting in return was good. But when you think about it, virtually every ROMANTIC DAYS CELEBRATION cliche is pure awful schmaltz. Your $80 bouquet? Your $200, five-mediocre-course dinner in an area filled with Marvin Gaye and folks trying too much? Your ski chalet weekend that costs a supplementary $250 due to a bottle of cheap fizzy wine and rose petals scattered on the bed? Even sex in a bed filled with flower petals is vastly overrated – you will discover yourself plucking them from every crevice in your bodies afterwards.
Probably the most offensive thing concerning the whole Valentine’s Day may be the proven fact that you, you scanning this, somehow should do this. Your girlfriend/wife is expecting this of you, prepared to toss your ass to the curb in the event that you fail in this, your most important task. Pro tip: If she’s with you at this time, it’s probably because she likes you. You are not more likely to have irredeemably sabotaged your relationship by without purchased crap such as this:
Here is the Interactive Stuffed Hug-Lovin’ Hippo, from Hallmark, for $32.95, should you be so inclined.
One of many tricks to an excellent relationship isn’t trying too much, and letting yourself be yourself. In addition, it generally doesn’t involve forcing her right into a situation where she is going to feel like she must act like she’s impressed by this predictable dreck and released as you shelled out. You’re more prone to do harm than good to your relationship; you both will undoubtedly be faking it and you both will know it, too.
By now you almost certainly get where I am going. Valentine’s Day can be an awful holiday. We must kill it. Kill it with fire. Nevertheless, you could be saying to yourself, But surely, I cannot possibly afford to miss ROMANTIC DAYS CELEBRATION?”
Well, I’ve got very good news for you personally: You’re already missing a lot of things since it stands. There’s a far more nefarious trend, comprising Valentine’s Week. Mostly concentrated in India, but slowly spreading worldwide because the spearhead of a jackbooted Hallmark army, it includes Rose Day, Propose Day, Chocolate Day, Teddy Day, Promise Day, Hug Day, Kiss Day (hey, at least the final two are free) and ROMANTIC DAYS CELEBRATION. So when you think about it, you’re already ignoring the rest of Valentine’s Week, just take that extra step and ignore the last day.
If you keep buying those flowers, this could be in your future. Source: /

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