Unacceptable Relationship Behaviors

Relationships are hard. They’re nothing like eating a delicious egg. They’re tough, they take work plus they can fall to pieces as efficiently as some candy floss a raccoon dropped in a puddle. However they may also be great. Even better when compared to a delicious egg, actually. I know, I understand. Sounds crazy. You almost certainly don’t think me but it’s REAL. I’m SERIOUS. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen love so excellent it creates a delicious egg look only a REGULAR egg. And that is the love I’d like for all of us all. But to obtain that love you can’t just arrive, you can’t just smile in to the void and say One amazing love please” like you’re ordering a McFlurry. You need to be as effective as that love. You need to be its equal. You need to be a delicious egg about the whole thing.
To get that kind of love, you have to make sure you’re not accidentally being a real bad egg. You have to consider how you behave, you have to line up your insecurities and your neglectful instincts and you have to shoot them in the face. You have to scramble those fuckers for as long as it takes. And then maybe, just maybe, it all works out. But what are those behaviors, and more importantly how can you ditch them for good?
1. Using Ultimatums As A Means Of Control
It goes something like this: This makes me not want to be with you,” if you keep getting upset I’ll leave” or your problems put too much pressure on me.” In this moment you’re taking off the hat that says GOOD RATIONAL PARTNER and putting one on that says REAL DICKHEAD. Yeah I don’t know why anyone would sell those designs either but that’s fashion, baby. No rules in fashion. There are rules, however, for being a good boyfriend or girlfriend. Ultimatums are just threats dressed up in real fancy shoes, and they don’t have a place in a healthy relationship.
How to cut it out: Instead of using your presence in someone’s life as a bargaining tool you could…not…do… that…thing? Listen, whether you accept it as such or not, it’s just a way of exercising control over a person. And it’s agony when it happens to you. So when you catch yourself carrying it out, tell yourself enough, don’t do this anymore. Because in the event that you keep writing eventually you won’t function as leaving, you will be the left. Only a single egg. Alone. Simply by itself. Forever.
2. Punishing Them For Disappointing You
You are not little Timmy’s dad removing his allowance until he starts doing his homework. Little Timmy isn’t real. He’s from cartoons. Mature. No, you’re within an equal partnership having an equal who’s equally add up to you. You know? When it becomes your objective to punish someone for ruining instead of communicating and training a way to see through it, you’ve lost. You’ve fucked it. It is advisable to pick up the telephone and present the jerk store a call because I’m ready to bet they’ve been looking to get a your hands on you (because you’re being truly a jerk is what I’m saying here.)
How exactly to cut it out: Use the human brain for a lot more than fourteen seconds and think about what happened. Did your lover take action with the intention of hurting you? If yes, maybe they suck and are from the swamp and you don’t need them anyway. Or was it just a human mistake that a human being from Earth might make? If yes, then work on finding a solution together. Forgiveness is magic, fucker, and don’t ever forget it.
3. Condemning The Qualities That You Used To Celebrate Them For
The early days of a relationship are great. It’s like the other person is perfect and everything they do is amazing and life changing. Just the way they slice a tomato gets you like wow…I’ve never seen anything like this. Nobody else on earth could slice a tomato like that. I can’t wait to marry this girl and watch her slice tomatoes until I die.” But that’s just the honeymoon phase. After that things get a little more challenging. You get into a routine, you feel a little too comfortable, you stop being so googly eyed. Just the way they slice tomatoes gets you pissed off. Why’s she using that knife… it’s too blunt. It’s compromising the crispness of the entire cut.”
How to cut it out: Learn to objectively recognize positive qualities in people. If you catch yourself being petty or cruel to someone for just being themselves then you need to have a word with yourself. Maybe you’re done with the relationship If that’s the case it’s cool, life does be like that sometimes. But don’t ever let it get to the point where you’re trying to change or dilute the good parts of someone just to make them more palatable to you.
4. Letting Them Continue To Work Hard At A Relationship YOU UNDERSTAND Isn’t Going Anywhere
That is like inviting you to definitely create a delicious cake with you but refusing to do the whisking. It’s like sitting back and watching them bake, watching them carefully measure out each of the ingredients, watching them break eggs and melt butter and even while you’re interested in a batch of cookies it doesn’t even exist yet. So when the cake’s ready and iced and looking good you thank them, and hand them their coat, and you also eat the cake on your own whilst they walk home in the torrential rain. It’s a similar as that.
How exactly to cut it out: Cease eating the cake! Stop drinking the pickle juice! Just stop wasting people’s time! Denial is similar to a volcano, real toasty and comfortable, but in the event that you loaf around inside one too much time you DIE. Whether it’s not it, say it’s not it. Break it off. Don’t settle. Don’t prolong anyone’s pain. Go and get a milkshake.
5. Measuring Them By Standards You Refuse To Be Measured By Yourself
If you want someone to communicate well then don’t take four days to reply to a text. If you want to be emotionally cared for then you better be ready to offer your own shoulder to lean on. Relationships are an exchange of goodness, they’re a partnership. So stop asking for unwavering loyalty and care from someone who you treat with a kind lukewarm indifference. There’s an unfortunate abundance of people out there willing to accept far less than they deserve and give far more than they should. Don’t take advantage of that fact.

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