The MILF By J. Perez

Columbia Pictures
(Remember that this story has been shortened to the gist of the action, where our author went house with a hot girl named Clem who he met at a bar.)
I stepped in to the apartment and noticed the area was relatively clean and quite roomy, albeit dark, because it was late. I took a seat on the loveseat situated in the family room. Clem turned on it, handed me the handy remote control and then headed in to the kitchen for a little. While I flipped through channels, I noticed a crack of light shimmer through the hallway and I hear a TV playing. I assumed it had been her roommate – wrong.
Out strolls this youngster, a boy. I’m terrible at ages, therefore i can’t pinpoint how old he was, but he was old enough to walk and may type of formulate sentences. As he walked out, he saw this weird stranger this lady brought home slumped down on the couch. He smiled and ran back off the hallway.
At that time, the wheels in my own head commence to turn, and I cannot help but tell myself, Well, this just got sort of weird.” I prayed in my heart of hearts that this young child is the roommate’s. Right then, the kid sprinted back out from the hallway into the living area at full speed. He smiled at me again and waltzed right into the kitchen and screams, Mommy!” My heart dropped. I decided that it’s best I start formulating an exit strategy.
Just then, I heard Clem call out my name and invite me to the kitchen. I was super reluctant to answer but did so anyway. As I walked toward the kitchen, I told myself that it was going to be very awkward, but then I noticed Clem under the bright lights of the kitchen. I realized how gorgeous she really is. I mean, I knew she was attractive, but I thought she was only dimly-lit-bar pretty. To my amazement, she’s arguably the most attractive female I have ever kissed. She told me, I want you to meet someone. This is Piss-Shit-Fart I don’t remember the kid’s name and don’t want to remember.”
In a very superficial manner, I patted his head, smiled and said hi in a high-pitched, overexcited voice. Although I felt uncomfortable and upset that she didn’t tell me about her kid, all that was water under the bridge when I realized how gorgeous she really is. In that moment, I told myself, It’s back on. You ain’t goin’ nowhere, boy!”
I asked Clem if I could use her bathroom. She pointed down the hall and told me I could use the one in the bedroom. I can remember being super excited and thinking how I was going to bag my first hot older chick, but right then and there, my heart slumped once again. As I was walking through her room I notice her bed is directly adjacent to a crib. All of a sudden I can’t help but fabricate this mental picture of me plowing a screaming Clementine in a hardcore porn-sex manner while this poor child bears witness in horror as he tightly grips the bars of the crib like a death row inmate.
Needless to say, I was back in the dumps. I started formulating my escape plan again. I didn’t want to be rude and just abruptly leave, so I decided I would sit back down for a bit and then fake a phone call and tell her it was an emergency and that I had to leave. It was an unconvincing plan, but at that point I really had no desire to make a move on this young mother.
But as I sat down, Clem greeted me with a drink. She smiled and explained it’s Johnny Walker on crushed ice. She handed it if you ask me, then sat down close to me, draped among her legs over mine, gave me an extended, hard kiss, and rubbed my inner thigh. She smiled again, and got up and headed back again to the kitchen.
At that time, I flipped it to Spike TV, and affirmed they’re playing among the best BJ Penn fights. I’m lounging back, sippin’ on a good drink, getting amazing kisses and pseudo handjobs from the gorgeous woman, and watching among the all-time greats pound some dude’s face into hamburger! Life cannot get any better.
At that time, I felt just like a Soprano or something. It had been like Popeye getting his spinach. I decided it had been back on!While I was kicking back on cloud nine, out the corner of my eye, I noticed PSF running along the hallway again, screaming as he does so. This time around, however, he’s clutching a little purple sword similar to a roman gladius. In addition, it looked nearly the same as those toy he-man swords I used as a kid, the people with the buttons on the handle that made the device gun and bomb-dropping sound files.
As he ran back off the hall, I heard a faint buzzing sound much like that of a dentist drill contrary to the hall wall. I didn’t think a lot of it, when i figured it had been the roomie utilizing an electric toothbrush or something. But PSF again ran back to the living area, this time around coming toward me. In doing this, he’s slapping himself with the sword from cheek-to-cheek as he makes a weird grunting noise. As he came further in to the living room and in to the glare of the tv screen, I finally took notice of the sword and realized that it’s, in fact, not just a sword. Instead, it is a rather large dildo (that sucker will need to have been an excellent 15-18 inches).
He turned that bad boy on and began rubbing it on the coffee table, again creating a pretty loud drilling noise. Clem will need to have taken notice because, suddenly, she rushed over and snatched the purple dick out of his hands. She then gave him a spank on the behind, yelling, I told one to stop grabbing that!”
He quickly started crying and rushed off down the hallway again. Clem and Then i locked eyes for about a split second, and in doing so, I noticed a look on her face that can only be described as utter humiliation. I returned a look of confusion with a half smile, as I was in a complete state of bewilderment trying to process what had just happened. She quickly rushed back to her room. Needless to say, all bets were off. That little episode was the tipping point. I knew I could not possibly make a move on her after that. I waited around idly for about two minutes, wondering if she was going to come back out. At that point, I asked myself what the hell I was still doing there and decided I’d best bounce.
I’m not sure how Clem reacted or what she did after that, but I can only imagine she walked back into the living room and was greeted by a cold breeze, as I was nowhere to be seen, with the door left wide open.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *