Qualities Women Want In Men (588956b)

4. Be Empathetic
Empathy pops up again and again as a quality women are desperately seeking in men. For Ellen, that means being “sincere in your concern for other people, animals and the planet, and thinking of others and going out of your way to ensure they’re happy and at ease.”
For Amy, it’s about never gaslighting her. Gaslighting is a psychological term which refers to the phenomenon of constantly denying another person’s lived experience to the point that it makes them feel crazy and makes them doubt their own perception of reality (the term originates from a play called Gas Light when a husband constantly tinkers with the lighting levels but denies that he’s touched the lamp at all, driving his wife insane).
The word “gaslighting” was originally confined to discussions about abusive relationships where men lie and deliberately manipulate their partners to the stage that it drives them insane, but it’s now used to spell it out the more commonplace practice of denying a woman’s lived experience is real or valid.
Warning flag that signal that you might be gaslighting your lover are constantly saying things such as “that is all in your mind” or “that isn’t what happened at all”. In order to avoid this, be aware that your path of seeing a predicament isn’t the only real possible continue reading it, and focus on your companion in good faith when she tells you how things appear from her perspective. It’s okay to clarify that she got things wrong or misread your intentions, but never flatly deny her reality or tell her that she’s “crazy” or “psycho.” Listening here’s big, so refer again compared to that section to be able to back.

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