POINTS TO CONSIDER Before Dating A Younger Woman

The phenomenon of men dating younger women is depicted everywhere in pop culture. Hollywood movies frequently cast much older male actors to star alongside young actresses, and exactly the same actors are usually snapped by paparazzi dating much younger ladies in true to life. Male singers have long referenced younger ladies in songs with epithets like “baby” and “litttle lady” and today it’s increasingly common for women to make reference to their sexual partners as “daddy”. The idea that it’s natural and normal for men until now women five, 10, 15 and also two decades younger than them is firmly culturally ingrained at this time pretty.
However, it’s worth taking a second look at whether this phenomenon should remain taken for granted. There are specific difficulties that accompany every relationship with a large age gap, regarding men dating younger women however, gleam tricky power dynamic that needs to be considered.
So, if you’re considering dating a younger woman, listed below are five things you need to remember before doing this:
1. The charged power Dynamic Is Skewed
“Power dynamic” is really a term that recognizes that power in social relationships will come from many sources: money, age, prestige, class, and so forth. Speaking in general terms, older people have more social power than younger people, and, in a variety of demonstrable ways and despite measurable progress in this area, men have more power than women Hence, when you combine the two variables – an older man and a younger woman – the power dynamic favors the older man. The bigger the age gap between you, and the younger she is, the more skewed the power dynamic will be in your favor. Other variables like race, class and gender identity will also factor in to the power balance of your relationship.
The presence of a skewed power dynamic does not necessarily mean that a relationship with an age gap should never happen, but it does mean that you need to take extreme care, and in certain cases it’s sensible to decide that the power dynamic is too out of whack for a relationship to be formed. Age of consent laws help us to draw a clear (legal) line between women who are too young to date and women who aren’t, but aside from this, every man must draw his own moral line.
It really depends heavily on age the younger woman of just the amount of this gap instead. For instance, every time a rapper in his late 20s dates a 17-year-old celeb, people believe that it is harmful and suspicious, but fewer people think a much bigger, 20-plus-years age gap between some celebrity couples is objectionable if the lady is in her 30s should they got together – they’re fully grown women capable of making their particular decisions and much less likely to be experiencing peer pressure.
So, you will find no clear lines, but if you’re over 30, dating a lady under 20 might be thought to be suspicious and potentially harmful, dating a lady between 20-25 is really a sliding grey area really, but more acceptable probably, and dating a lady 25+ may very well be socially acceptable generally. Again, though, they’re easy and fast rules or lines, and you have to draw your individual moral lines also.
2. SHE HAPPENS TO BE, By Definition, Not Mature
A young woman could possibly be smart, witty and worldly, but she is actually, by definition, not mature or experienced. Certain life experiences and personal qualities only result from being alive on the planet for a decent amount of time, so if you are thinking about dating a female who you’ll otherwise think is too young but also for the point that she’s “really mature on her behalf age,” stop kidding yourself. If your prospective partner is fresh out of senior high school, having never weathered employment loss, heartbreak or the other hallmarks of adult life, you’re (a) going to battle to relate to one another, and (b) she actually is not likely to be well-equipped with the various tools needed for a significant relationship yet.
3. She may be Expecting A LOT OF From You
Stereotypically speaking, every time a young woman dates an adult man she may have a few qualities in mind that she expects someone to have: financial security, gentlemanliness and maturity, for instance. She might think that guys her very own age are immature and directionless, and be searching for an older guy to supply more stability on her behalf.
That is all well and good, unless of course you’re as directionless and financially insecure because the men she’s attempting to avoid. Or possibly she’s not searching for financial security, but she thinks you are going to be considered a complete gentleman who’ll woo her with flowers and chocolates, whereas you’re not the slightest bit romantic in the traditional sense She might have completely unrealistic expectations of men in general, or she might simply have unrealistic expectations from you in particular that you will be never going to have the ability to meet, and you will need to work those out before starting something serious.
4. YOU MAY BE Expecting Too Much From Her
Similarly, you may be tempted to date a younger woman rather than someone your own age because of a cliched idea that they have a relative lack of “issues”, are more wild, fun, flexible, and so forth. This isn’t a great way of considering things: ladies still have their very own complications, hang ups and issues, and besides, the complete point of dating someone would be to share your daily life with another fully realized individual with flaws, not really a Barbie doll who’ll never challenge you or require reassurance or assistance. You anticipate your companion to love you, warts and all, if you are just dating younger women as you think they’re relatively “flawless”, you’re going about things entirely the incorrect manner.
The only way you’ll be able to figure these plain things out is always to talk openly about your expectations. If she’s seeking a silver fox who’ll open car doors on her behalf behalf and order Champagne at every restaurant you visit, you are likely to should be straight with her if you are not likely to be providing that on her behalf. Let her understand that you’re an individual she’ll be dating, not just a weird father security or figure blanket. Likewise, she can inform you that she’s a human woman with flaws and insecurities, not just a hot babe who’ll never “burden” you with an individual emotional need. (Just kidding, we realize you do not expect or want that at all. You do not want that, right?)
5. You will possibly not Want EXACTLY THE SAME Things From Life
Let’s say you are not burdened by the above issues: she has a realistic idea of what she expects from older men, and you in particular; and vice versa. You’re not looking for a flawless one-dimensional sex doll and she’s not looking for a sugar daddy either – you’re just two regular people who like each other and clicked, and there happens to be an age gap between you. That’s great!
It’s still worth considering the “stage of life” problem, though. While not everyone moves through life at the same pace and ticks off exactly the same milestones as well (university, work, marriage, babies, investing in a house, etc.), there are still, broadly speaking, stages of life: an interest in partying and lack of responsibilities typically characterizes your 20s, for example, whereas your 30s tend to be career building years, and your 40s… well, you get the picture.
If your significant other is an amazing person who you mesh with well, but you simply aren’t looking for the same things (she just really wants to party, you’re prepared to start considering settling down and having kids, for instance), it’s not going to workout. These issues can, needless to say, affect couples that are exactly the same age and who’ve different priorities, but relationships with a big age gap are specially vunerable to the “stage of life” problem.
So, what’s the solution? In the event you date a younger woman?
It pays to check very closely and honestly at your known reasons for considering dating a younger woman. If you are ignoring a disturbing power imbalance – or you’re dating a younger woman in the hope of avoiding all of the “baggage” fully realized adult women bring using them – you need to take a deeper look at your priorities. Your partner isn’t a trophy to show off to your friends and coworkers, she’s a human with her very own interests, struggles, insecurities and past. If that scares you, you will possibly not be equipped for a relationship at all, aside from one with a younger woman.

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