Lying On Your Dating Profile

The Dating Nerd is really a shadowy figure whose whereabouts and identifying details remain unknown. What we can say for certain is that he is actually, excellent at dating. He’s been on more dates than it is possible to shake an extended bar tab at, and he’s here to greatly help the common guy step his dating game up a notch – or several.
We all know that it’s super tempting to lie on your online dating profile Especially when you see a picture of a particularly appealing woman and you manage to convince yourself that she’s your one remaining shot at true love. (Or the best sex of your life, or the best sex of that day.) It’s so easy; you just click on the little box and call yourself athletic, or nudge your height up to six feet, or adjust your earnings from the high five figures to a minimal six. Exactly like that, you’re less of a schlub. At the very least in accordance with your profile, you’re a magnificent specimen, worth adoration by every eligible woman on the planet.
Besides being simple, this is usually a natural reaction to how arbitrary and cruel the dating game could be. It certainly sucks that being truly a little bit taller or having a slightly lower torso fat percentage could make the difference between attaining a relationship or not. Moreover, most of us desire to be judged using the intricacies of our character, not our most apparent, impersonal properties. Unfortunately, though, folks are shallow, and women are people. It’s understandable to obtain bent out of shape about this, and to desire to game the machine somehow.
Nevertheless, I really, really do not recommend being deceptive if you are going on online dating services or apps. It usually won’t work, and also in the rare case when it can work, I don’t believe it’s good. I want to explain.
So, usually, men are lying on the dating profile to allow them to obtain foot in the entranceway. They would like to stack the chances that their Tinderella of as soon as will experience them. Once they’re actually on the date itself, they figure, even though the woman notices that they are not as tall because they claimed, at the very least they got their foot in the entranceway. Maybe, in the dim light of a fancy wine bar, they are able to work their magic, despite being discovered, and charm their way in to the relevant panties.
Which might happen now and then. But the the greater part of the time, it will not. Listen. In the event that you lie to a female to acquire a first date with her, and she notices what’s happening, it’s not like you are going to have a standard time after that. She is going to immediately see you as a douchebag and a liar, and justifiably so.
And you also won’t have to be able to apply that finely-polished charm, because she won’t believe whatever you say. Your flirty compliments won’t come off as genuine; they’ll simply be regarded as simple-minded flattery. All those well-spun anecdotes about your daily life that you have a tendency to recycle for first dates will undoubtedly be seen as lies, regardless of how true they’re. Sure, you have her to leave her house ahead see an imaginary version of yourself-good job-but once she gets there, she is going to subject you to a distressing scrutiny.
Well, imagine if you manage to escape with the lie? Imagine if you lie about something similar to income, or education, that may actually be concealed for real, perhaps for some time? Imagine if, unlike most men, you’re a dark and mysterious master of falsehood, who is able to really pull it off?
Well, I still completely disagree with that decision, for both moral and practical reasons. Let’s focus on the moral side of it.
Obviously, lying to a female to secure her attraction, or at the very least a go at grabbing her boobs, is really a lousy move to make. Actually, it’s evil. I shouldn’t have even to create this down. That is obvious. But it is a moral truth that’s conveniently ignored, each day, by many men-even by good men, or at the very least men who aren’t 100% awful sociopaths who torture kittens within their free time. Because, really, you don’t have to be a villain to lie to women to get laid. You just have to ignore your higher brain in favor of your lower urges. You just have to let horniness overpower morality.
Listen. Your sex drive can be a hell of a drug. Almost everyone can relate to that. When we’re really lonely, our mating drives kick into high gear, and persuade us to attempt all sorts of harebrained schemes to get a little nugget of sexual attention. Like texting an ex who obviously hates you so much she wouldn’t touch your dick for a million dollars. Or asking out a girl at the gym wearing headphones who doesn’t want to speak to anyone for any reason, and especially not you. Or lying on your dating profile.
However, being a responsible man is all about rising above your primitive urges and being a reasonable human. Occasionally, when you’re living the single life, you’re going to hear those inner voices telling you to be dishonest to get a woman into bed with you. I sympathize. But a big part of growing up is ignoring such desires.
And finally, as previously mentioned, there’s a practical side to this as well. Which is the fact that every time you lie to someone, it’s bad for your soul, because you’re encouraging the wrong parts of your character.
Ultimately, you should want to have integrity. And what integrity means is having a wholeness of character, which is to say that when you interact with people, you present a more-or-less accurate version of your inner life. Who you are inside connects authentically who you are outside. This leads to confidence, sincerity, and boldness, which are all attractive characteristics, and also just generally helpful for being a person in the world.
It’s true, maybe, that in the short term, lying to someone to achieve romance could be advantageous. But in the long term, in general, the more you lie to please other people, the more you’re locked inside yourself. To the people around you, you’re a charismatic person with an entertaining backstory that they don’t know is fabricated. To yourself, however, you’re a shell of a person, hiding an inner life that you feel is pathetic behind an ever-shifting facade. That’s not a good way to be, and you should steer yourself away from that as soon as possible, and towards being a forthright and surefooted person.

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