HOW YOU CAN FIND Out If Shes Single

Sometimes in a relationship, you are not sure how exactly to phrase a delicate subject or tricky topic. Sure, saying almost nothing is easy, but preventing the subject doesn’t do anyone worthwhile. Awkward Conversations offers you a template for what things to say – and what not saying – and why, to help you have those difficult discussions without them turning out to be full-blown fights.
Picture this scenario: you’re at a celebration, you meet a lovely woman, and you also spend the complete evening talking to one another. You’re really hitting it off. Both of you like this one team! You’re both from small towns, and you also both concur that wasabi peas will be the perfect party snack. You wish to marry her tomorrow.
There’s just one single tiny problem. You do not know whether she’s single or not.
There are several great context clues you need to look for – just like a wedding band or frequent mentions of My boyfriend says” – but let`s say you are flying absolutely blind here and you also haven’t any mutual friends who know. The one thing left to accomplish is ask.
Having the are you currently single?” conversation can feel extremely daunting, I understand. That’s since it removes all plausible deniability. Hey, perhaps you were chatting to her because she was close to the plate of wasabi peas. With one question, you’re establishing you have Romance in your thoughts That’s scary!
You can find no real rules about when to ask somebody if they are single. Lots of people ask right off the bat:
You: Hi, I saw you from across the room and wow, you look stunning in that red dress. Do you have a boyfriend?
An approach this confident is not for the faint of heart! The problem with this opener is that it can lead to immediate rejection. She could say Yes, and he’s the angry-looking 6’6 guy in the corner who’s built like a football player.” What a terrifying thought.
On the other hand, if you put it off too long, you’ll never catch that cute girl between boyfriends. It’s a real conundrum. But never fear- it can be done, and done smoothly. (Men have been asking women if they’re single for hundreds of years! You’re not alone.)
One way to minimize the awkwardness of a No” is to volunteer information about your own status! A simple reference to your ex, or to your dating life, will likely elicit the same information.
You: I moved to the city a year ago, to live with my girlfriend. And then we broke up, so I’ve been struggling with online dating ever since.
Her: I know, isn’t it the worst? I’ve given up on online dating. My friends say I might as well be single.
OR:
Her: Oh wow. That sucks. I live with my boyfriend too! But we met through friends – I’ve never tried online dating
Either way, the embarrassment is minimal, because you’re not asking her directly. But the beauty of this approach is also what makes it flawed. You could try this, but she may not give you the info because… she’s secretive due to her job as an international spy. OK, maybe she’s not a spy, but people don’t always volunteer information if you don’t ask for it.
Another, slightly more direct method is to comment on other couples in the room:
You: Wow, Tom invited a lot of couples, didn’t he? Check out that couple making out like teenagers! Reminds me of Facebook – it makes me feel just like I’m the only real single person left on earth.
Her: I know! It is the worst. I hate PDA. And yeah, I believe I’m the final single person in my own group of friends.
The safest bet would be to laughingly mention something difficult about how exactly you’re single , and ask her if she can relate with it. That is more daring compared to the previous methods, but it’s still essentially casual – there is a context for why you’re asking!
You: There’s this great Thai place nearby. But it is hard to meet up the delivery minimum because I live alone and I cannot eat that much food. Ugh. It’s discrimination against single people! I have no idea if you are dating someone but if you’re, check it out-you can order two entrées.
Her: laughs Oh, I’m not single! Thanks for the end though, I’ll definitely tell my boyfriend about any of it. He loves Thai.
Should you choose go the direct route, and pop the scary S question, you need to be prepared for whatever answer you can find. That is (and I cannot emphasize this enough) crucial. Asking if someone is single isn’t offensive, however, not handling rejection with grace certainly is.
You: I was wondering whether you’re single.
Her: Actually, I’ve a boyfriend.
You: Needless to say you do! He’s a lucky guy. Well, enjoy your evening.
Smile, keep it light, leave. Women feel awkward too! You wish to make the interaction as painless as you possibly can for both parties. A good compliment will improve her day, while showing her that is not a big deal. Don’t make rejection right into a big deal: there’s a lot of other women on earth who are single.
Of course, there is a chance she actually is single, however, not interested. Don’t assume that when she doesn’t have somebody, she has to be thinking about you. Maybe you are not her type. Maybe she likes women! Maybe she’s not seeking to date at this time because she’s going to move to a different country. Whatever she says, be easygoing about any of it:
Her: I’m single, but I’m not interested, thanks.
You: Well, I wasn’t likely to ask you out, anyway. Don’t flatter yourself.
Oh, boy. Here is the worst thing you can do. Even if it’s true – you only asked about her relationship status because you wanted to know for a census you were taking – it’s the natural assumption to make. If you try and act as if you were never interested, you come off as somebody who’s lying, which is pathetic. It’s much better to gracefully bring the conversation to a halt.
Her: I’m single, but I’m not interested, thanks.
You: No worries. I’d be kicking myself if I didn’t ask! Have a nice night.
And once again, smile, joke, walk away. No big deal, right?
Her: Yeah, I’m single!
You: I’d love to take you to the Thai restaurant I mentioned, if you’re interested. You know, defeat their evil Anti-Singles agenda by teaming up.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *