How To Chat Girls On Tinder

With proper testing and Tinder profile optimization, getting Tinder matches is easy However, many men still struggle with how to talk to girls on Tinder. Throughout my research building TinderHacks, and subsequent consulting with men who struggle to find success on Tinder, I’ve noticed a pattern that will significantly increase your success with Tinder messaging.
Building a great profile is just half the battle, because a match is virtually useless unless it leads to a conversation. What’s more, a conversation isn’t worth much if you can’t convert the exchange into a phone number, or better yet, a date.
If you’re struggling to get matches, then I suggest you start with my Top 5 Tinder Tips article I recently posted. Once you get the matches flowing, and want to step up your messaging game, read on…
Tinder Messaging Basics:
The truth is that by and large, a girl is not going to message you first. A few will, but over 80% of them just aren’t going to do it. If you want to talk to her, you are going to need to make the first move ahead Tinder.
Since girls are flooded with messages each day, it is advisable to send a note that stands out. A note that grabs her attention and piques her curiosity. We shall dive into specific examples later on this page, but for now, be confident you need to send something more creative than hey.”
Dos
Send the initial message (try one of these brilliant Tinder conversation starters )
Reference details you see in her bio or pictures
Compliment her, but on something apart from her looks
Ask genuine questions to become familiar with her better
Work on creating a rapport
Then (and only then) move the conversation off Tinder
Don’ts
Don’t send a generic first message like hi” or hey”
Don’t send a string of messages if she doesn’t reply. In most cases of thumb, only send one message for every message she sends.
Don’t send messages which are longer when compared to a sentence or two.
Avoid being angry or bitter in the event that you get no response. And when you do have a temper, do not air it out in another Tinder message. That’s how guys find yourself on ByeFelipe
When It Works:
Let’s look at some real-world examples and breakdown just what went right: In this exchange, Travis (a man I coach with TinderHacks), says all of the right things to obtain the conversation going. He runs on the unique opener, builds rapport by asking questions about his match, and moves the conversation off Tinder in the initial exchange, with a romantic date lined up!
He starts having an opener much unique of hey.” This specific line is ideal for piquing curiosity. The lady will undoubtedly be curious what keeps happening?” – which we are able to see she replied immediately. He uses emojis really well, but doesn’t overdo it – and he lets her use the first one.
By saying another xyz,” he teases his match a little – giving her the chance to prove she is one of a kind. So already, she is trying to win him over” in a sense.
He keeps the conversation focused on her, asking genuine questions, which gets her to open up about her dog. Travis has a dog too, so asking if her dog plays well with other pups” is a perfect setup for a future puppy play date.
He also mentions that he is meeting up with friends later that night. Great move to showcase his social life, and also puts a deadline on the current conversation. Scarcity can be a good thing! It means you’re direct and shows you’re interested.
I honestly think adding the gym” part was unnecessary, but I am guessing Travis wanted to emphasize that he works out. He didn’t linger on the point though, which was smart – no need to brag.
Instead of just asking, What part of town are you in?” Travis takes a much smoother approach. He first mentions where he lives, then casually asks if that is close by.
When she says it is close to her, he immediately suggests they get together for a drink. The following message reminds her that he’s meeting up with friends later, which is probably the most critical message of this entire exchange. It re-affirms that he has a social life, and more importantly, it lets her know that the date will not drag on all night.
After working out the timing logistics, the girl suggests the place. This is great because it will be somewhere she is comfortable. Travis gets the number without ever having to ask, and the pair of them swipe happily ever after.
Key Takeaways:
Use a unique opening line
Ask questions to get to know your match and build a rapport
Be available, but not too available
Move the conversation off Tinder
When It Doesn’t Work:
OK, let’s take a look at an example that didn’t go so well: This example is from another TinderHacks student, who we will call Adam (name changed for privacy). Adam plays his cards too fast, and doesn’t take the proper time to build rapport with his match.
One thing I notice is that the lady actually messaged Adam first. That is extremely rare, and it’s really unfortunate he didn’t see the message before next morning.
Adam sent a string of three messages, that is generally a negative idea. It could come off as desperate, and that drastically minimises your chances to achieve the date.
He mentions where he lives, then asks where she lives. She responds, however the one-word answer informs me she’s already a little disinterested.
Just as before, Adam shoots himself in the foot. He responds, asking if she’d prefer to get together for a romantic date. This was much too fast, before any rapport or trust is established. To create matters worse, Adam reminds the match that she lives definately not him, and not-so-subtly suggests she should arrived at where he could be, because it’s fun.”
By this aspect, Adam has lost her. He’d have been far better off asking some basic questions to become familiar with her, then suggesting they hook up near her section of town.
Instead he sends more messages, asking why she disappeared.” Guys, never do that. Ever.
She brushed it off with an informal apology, and again Adam occurs too strong, sending his contact number and suggesting (again) they get together for a glass or two.
Her response of I don’t drink” may be the last Adam ever hears from her. If he’d taken enough time to ask several basic questions, he could have discovered out that she doesn’t drink sooner.
Key Takeaways:
Don’t send a string of multiple messages before a reply
Ask questions to access know your match before telling meet
If you live definately not your match, don’t suggest they make the trek to your section of town
Move conversation off Tinder quickly (but not until after building some rapport)
We’ve all had our fair share of Tinder conversations gone bad. So long as you’re not rude, a Tinder conversation that doesn’t work out is nothing to be ashamed of – and should be viewed as a learning opportunity.
Read the full AskMen review of Tinder here

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