Picking up the pieces after a divorce can be a tough nut to crack, but it’s vital to take it one step at a time. During a break up you go through a cycle of emotions, including denial, anger, depression and acceptance, so much so that it can feel like going through a tumble dryer from day to day. But don’t fear. You are not alone and this is all very normal. Here are five practical tips to prevent yourself from feeling sad after a break up.
1. Create A Solid Routine
If your routine factors in work, friends, exercise, and time for yourself to feel rather than suppress your emotions, that’s great. Plan hour by hour if you can, especially if things still feel a little blurry. It’s now that you need to count on your friends (it’s what they’re there for), not try and fill emotional voids with sexual distractions, and throw yourself into work to get some much needed purpose. Although it may feel tough on your energy levels, if you can find a way to help others it will help you right back. And if something needs to be done, try don’t put it off – avoiding things won’t help you heal.
2. Self-Care Is Essential
Respecting yourself and looking after numero uno is essential to getting life back on track. It might take weeks, months or maybe years, but remember that the situation you are in now will not last forever and that you’re not the only one who’s been through this. Take care to be well rested but – as tough as you may find it – oversleeping can be counter-productive and have the reverse effect during your emotional recovery stages.
3. Keep Moving
Keep moving physically to keep moving emotionally. Exercise increases your body temperature, which can have a calming effect, and releases endorphins to make you feel-good. If you’re struggling with sleep, exercise will tire your body out so that you get a better night’s rest, as well as giving you time alone with your thoughts in order to think with better clarity about what you want. It is, of course, better to factor exercise into your day than the negative vices we can easily turn to when things in our lives go wrong. I would also strongly recommend practicing yoga. After break-ups, people often focus on their pride being injured rather than the actual love lost, and yoga can help by teaching you to separate yourself from your ego, which will help speed up the healing process.
4. Learn Something New
New experiences give you a brief rush of dopamine that make you feel good. As well as gaining a skill, interest or hobby, learning something new will keep your mind busy and negative thoughts at bay. It’s better to fill time with actions that can be constructive towards growth and help you move on, rather than dwelling on what once was.
5. Define Your Boundaries
While you have to do what is best for all parties, I would advise only communicating with your ex about vital things. As you’re starting a new chapter, you need to be clear as soon as possible about how this will work. Extract social media from the equation, be clear about mutual friends and be brutal with your boundaries. Remember, it’s for your benefit.
“Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.” – Raymond Lindquist
Sarah Louise Ryan is a dating expert and Global Managing Director of premier Jewish matchmaking site Simantov International, which was awarded ‘Best Matchmaking Agency’ at the 2016 Dating Awards.