Hooking Up HAVING AN Ex

It is just a truth universally acknowledged a single person having recently been through a breakup should be in want of fcking their ex.
Guess what happens I’m talking about. Even though friends and family have stolen your phone and changed your ex’s name to NO or STOP or UGH in your phone (or, in your friend Cat’s case, it’s an unflattering pun on the name, plus two emoji poops… yeah), you still know who’s on the far side of the line, and you also still really, really, really wanna obtain it.
Sleeping using your ex – the very thought of it – is comforting especially. Unlike a Tinder rando, you understand their body, so you know y’all are effective in boning. You’ve definitely racked up at least handful of experience doing it. And you also miss them also.
So maybe, you imagine, you can find back again to just… doin’ it. No emotional entanglement necessary. Or perhaps, like me, you crave that emotional intensity – wanting to be near them again again, by whatever means possible. Maybe you’re more angry than you’re sad, and the very thought of hate-fcking them sounds enticing absolutely.
The ultimate time I slept having an ex – hell yeah, you show me yours and I’ll demonstrate mine – was 2-3 weeks after we’d split. We were getting drinks because I needed to talk.” Yeah.
Talk we did, and I’m sure I said intelligent, emotionally aware things, but at some time, I realized that perhaps a lot more than I missed this person, I missed his body. I’d tried to attach with a rando post-breakup, but that experience had left me feeling terrible, and what I now craved was the familiarity of my ex close to me; the knowledge our sex would be as effective as I remembered.
Yep. I fcked him.
And… honestly, it had been pretty great. With the confines of the partnership removed, and more when compared to a little tension built during the period of the evening, we were immediately around each other as quickly as possible. We made out in the cab, stumbled into his apartment, had sex in as much ways once we could manage , and passed out.
Sex with your ex can feel light, even liberating. When I slept with my ex I felt exactly the same physical attraction we’d always shared, unspooled from the partnership that had made both folks feel unhappy and restless. It felt freeing-there together was nothing tying us. It felt such as a choice that people were both making, also it was a huge amount of fun.
But there is the undercurrent, too, of the emotional intensity that originated from us being unresolved – he was still him still, no other person off the road just, and that mattered. It mattered that I hurt just a little still. It mattered he was the main one who’d hurt me, too.
And with the partnership dissolved, so were our obligations to one another too. Once you have sex together with your ex, they’re your ex partner – they don’t really owe you anything. They’re probably looking to get over you just up to you’re looking to get over them, and that is where things will get tangled. You really should see each other, but you’re both also probably attempting to see other folks. Sex together with your ex requires treading a delicate balance.
So is it feasible? Can it be done? Well, yeah, it’s gonna be done. Probably more than once, if you’re like me and have poor impulse control. Is it smart? Well… probably not. Sex with your ex can seem like the cure-all, a method to make things better, or a way to get back what you’ve lost. But relationships end for a reason, and though they could be repaired with work, sex… is not that work. It’s just boning!

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