‘Tis the season to be jolly!
I love all the cliches: You never fire somebody during Christmas. You never hire anybody new during Christmas. And you never, ever break someone’s heart right before the holidays.
That last one never made any sense to me at all. Actually, none of them really make any sense when you think about it. You want to fire somebody during the holidays? Great. So they have a job. They go to the job every day. Now they’re about to get fired but instead the boss waits until after Christmas. And so now they get fired right after New Year’s. What a great way to start the new year: unemployed.
There’s never a great time of the year to get fired, and there’s never a great time to fire somebody.
How many of you are sitting in a relationship right now that you’re not happy about, where you’re just going through the motions? You know you don’t love your woman anymore, you know you’re not into her anymore and you know she doesn’t satisfy you (or you don’t satisfy her), but yet you don’t want to break up with her during the holidays.
So you’re going to put on your game face when you go to her parents’ house for Christmas. You’re going to go to Christmas parties together, you’re going to spend New Year’s Eve together, you’re going to spend the entire holidays together, and then what? Break up with her after the first of the year so you can leave her with a very bad taste in her mouth about the holidays and have to explain to her parents what went wrong? “But you guys seemed so happy during Christmas.” And also force her to explain to her friends what went wrong after that New Year’s Eve party? They all thought you guys looked so happy together.
Here’s the deal, guys: It’s never a good time to break up. It’s never a good time to look at somebody and have to break her heart. It’s never a good time to do any of that. So whether it’s the holidays or right before that spring vacation you were going to take, you’ve got to be honest.
If you’re sitting in a relationship right now that you’re not happy with, break it off. Why celebrate the holidays together? Why bear the moments of having to look in each other’s eyes on Christmas and New Year’s and force yourself to tell her loving words? Why buy her a gift that you don’t really want to give her? Why make her feel like maybe the relationship has a chance to survive, especially if the relationship hasn’t been good?
Here’s how you break up during the holidays: You do it the same way you break up the rest of the year. You’re honest with her. You’re honest about what you want and why it’s not working out.
Don’t rehash how great it was in the beginning. You don’t need a replay of what went wrong. If you’re at the point of breaking up, I’m sure you’ve already had endless conversations about why the relationship is going wrong and who’s to blame.
You’re both to blame. You’re both at fault, and you both need to step up to the plate. So you need to have the talk. You need to sit her down and you need to talk to her — whether it’s the holidays or not. It’s better that she celebrate the holidays around the people who love her. Plus, she can spend the holidays healing and feeling better about things, so she can start the new year off with a new mindset.
You don’t want to give somebody false hope in a relationship in any way, shape or form. So if you’re reading this and going through this in your own relationship, I feel your pain.
Conventional wisdom has always told you to never fire anybody, never to break up with anybody and never hire anybody right before Christmas. But honesty and reality trump conventional wisdom. Being honest and allowing her the opportunity to heal with her family and friends is the right thing to do, this and every holiday season.