Her Best Friend IS REALLY A Guy

In a relationship Sometimes, you’re not sure how to phrase a delicate subject or tricky topic. Sure, saying nothing at all is easy, but preventing the subject doesn’t do anyone worthwhile. Awkward Conversations gives you a template for what what to say – and what not saying – and just why, that will help you have those difficult discussions without them growing to be full-blown fights.
Things are going great using your new girlfriend – so excellent that she wants one to meet her companion. You know this is actually the big deal, and you’re prepared to impress. Until she drops the casual bombshell: I understand you and John are certain to get along.” John?
Yep, her companion is really a guy. A straight guy. A man who’s probably deeply in love with your girlfriend. Even though he’s not, he’s THE PERSON In Her Life: a person who knows more about her than you do. Imagine if he hates you and tries to sabotage your relationship? Suddenly, all of your worst instincts activate and you also feel caveman degrees of jealousy How will you handle this? You do not desire to lie to your girlfriend by acting nonchalant, nevertheless, you don’t desire to alienate her, either. Never fear, we got this.
First Off, Relax
Yeah, we’ve all watched a billion movies where in fact the punchline is that the best friend from high school was secretly in love with her all along, and he interrupts her wedding to tell her so and they live happily ever after. Here’s the good news: those are made up by bored screenwriters. Just because Hollywood is out of ideas doesn’t mean that your love life is under threat.
Remember, you’re the boyfriend. There’s a reason he isn’t. Even if her best friend looks like a Chris Hemsworth knockoff, she’s placed him squarely in mental Best Friend/Brother category. You’ll find nothing sexy about this category: it’s the sort of dynamic where you select spinach out of every other’s teeth without embarrassment. Repeat to yourself: should they wanted to date one another, they might be dating one another! The chance he is owning a long con on your own girlfriend is infinitesimally small, so take the time to reassure yourself if necessary.
Insecurity Is Never Attractive
It’s completely normal to possess questions about their friendship. Here’s a good example of a chill treatment for ask a question:
You: Oh, your better friend’s a guy? That’s cool. Just how long have you known each other Just?
Here’s a good exemplory case of a BAD treatment for react:
You: Oh, your better friend is really a guy really? That’s type of weird, not think? You might have guys installed ever? Never? Night in college Not just one drunken? Uh, so what’s he like? Can you consider he’s attractive?
When she actually is asked by you questions such as this, it tells her you’re incredibly insecure about your relationship (And likewise, that you can’t handle her having other guys in her life, that is clearly a red flag.) In the ultimate end, it’s 2017 – it is not illegal for people to be friends!
We obtain it: you intend to know everything about their dynamic. But don’t bombard her basic questions off the bat. There’s the mandatory time and energy to learn – within an informal manner – about their history. She’ll probably volunteer the knowledge herself! The absolute worst thing to do is always to put her on the defensive.
Meet Him AS SOON AS YOU Can – And Play Nice

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