Golden Rules For Phone Calls

We obtain it – if you learned the ins-and-outs of dating decades ago, before you got married, getting back into the swing of modern swiping and digital connections presents a steep learning curve. But if your post-divorce goals include meeting a partner to share your life with – a relationship that goes the distance, investing in the new rules of dating should be your next priority. One key area where most men fail to hit the mark is with the phone. While previous generations might have looked forward to (and, ahem, waited for) a nightly dial to catch up or have meaningful conversations, texting via blue one-liners and many clever emojis is quickly becoming the new normal.
Not sure how to exercise your thumbs in an effective way? Here, relationship experts and therapists give their candid advice on the new golden rules for making phone calls. Now you don’t have to question if you should text, ring, FaceTime, WhatsApp, Facebook messenger or send a carrier pigeon when you’re into a woman:
Why Are Phone Calls Becoming Outdated?
Psychotherapist and author of The Relationship Fix , Dr. Jenn Mann says that, just as norms in business shift over the years, so do the aspects of dating. Considering more and more people are becoming more comfortable with emerging technology, good ‘ole fashioned telephones are considered, well, an ancient practice that’s meant for only very specific situations. It all has to do with the message and tone women might perceive a ring radiates into a could-be relationship. If you meet someone at a party, event or restaurant, most people, in this day and age, text before they call. Calling can sometimes appear aggressive or catch people off guard. Even just a text, asking when might be a good time to call, can make for a gentler introduction on the phone,” she explains.
Relationship expert Elena Burnett also warns that creating a phone call prematurily . in to the flirting – or courting – period can put you vulnerable to expressing more vulnerability than your potential partner has earned. That is why text messages are made to become more impersonal, she notes, since they provide you with a sense of control over when and for just how long you wish to carry a conversation, allowing the partnership to go slower. To call a female indicates you are ready to give her your total attention, an act of sacrifice that goes away from accomplishing other activities throughout that time,” she says.
Rule No. 1: UTILIZE IT As A Gut-Check Before AN INITIAL Date
If communicating and being attentive to a woman’s laugh, just how her voice rises and falls with conversation, how she hesitates at certain topics or leans into others, is essential for you – well, Dr. Mann says that is clearly a smart way to approach a relationship. However the first time you have to have that deep discussion is personally, not on calling. The exception to the rule is when you’ve met someone using among the numerous popular dating apps, from Bumble and Tinder to OkCupid , Beyond and Hinge. That’s because talking on calling can serve as a gut-check, offering you a blind glimpse into her personality before wasting your energy and time, money, spirit or heart on a date that’s bound to go sour. Once you have met someone on a dating app, the most frequent protocol is always to first text and talk on calling before asking someone on a date. It is vital see if you find good talking chemistry before meeting personally. Nearly all women feel safer after first talking on the telephone,” she explains.
Rule No. 2: Early in a Relationship, Only Use CALLS to Make Plans

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