When I was in my own early 20s, I dated he for a couple of years. I use the word date” pretty loosely, since it was similar to exclusively slept together for over two years even though we didn’t speak in public” (I didn’t say it was the healthiest relationship). One day, I just stopped hearing from him. He went from texting me several times per week to just not talking to me. He didn’t respond to my texts and I never got an explanation of what happened. I considered showing up to his house in the middle of the night and demanding an answer, but thankfully common sense won out and I never did.
At the time, I didn’t have an term for what he’d done to me, besides Wow, that guy’s a jerk.” Now I know I was ghosted.” Ghosting is the word used to describe a breakup that never actually happens It’s when two people are in a relationship and then one person just vanishes without a trace – no call, no text, no explanation. It’s being dumped without actually being told you’re being dumped, leaving you to get the hint (and hope that you’re actually being dumped and something horrible didn’t just happen to the person). It’s not necessarily a new phenomenon, though the term is quickly catching on and becoming part of our lexicon.
Generally, ghosting is a crappy thing to do to someone. If a person has dedicated any amount of their time to being in a relationship with you, the respectful thing to do is to let them know you’re not interested. When I was ghosted, it was confusing, humiliating, and enraging. If you’re mature enough to enter into a relationship with someone, you should be mature enough to end that relationship when you no longer want to be in it.
It’s cowardly to exit stage left without so much as a goodbye. No one likes having hard conversations or hurting anyone’s feelings. Breaking up with someone sucks, regardless of the circumstances. But being an adult means doing the right thing, even if that thing is hard. For example, when someone experiences radio silence from the person that they had been dating, they could be worried that something bad may have happened in their mind. It’s an unfair burden to put up someone, especially because it could be easily rectified with a straightforward text saying, Hey, I don’t believe we should see one another anymore.”
However, periodically ghosting someone may be a proper or necessary move to make. Because the media has discussed Charlize Theron’s apparent icing” of Sean Penn , there’s been little reference to the fact that she could have had excellent reason to take off connection with him. Sean Penn includes a history of spousal abuse I obviously have no idea whether Sean Penn exhibited abusive behavior with Charlize Theron, but what I know is that if he previously, it was probably in her best interest to take off contact.
Abusive behavior can escalate whenever a person leaves a relationship, and ghosting may be a way of attempting to protect oneself from that violence. If someone demonstrated behavior through the relationship that has been concerning, like being jealous, possessive, or controlling, ghosting might feel just like the safest option. Should anyone find yourself on the receiving end of a ghosting ever, that unequivocally sucks. Nevertheless the person doing the ghosting may have a justification for carrying it out perfectly.
If someone does disappear you, harassing them isn’t the proper answer. If you value someone, do just like the old adage says and let them go just. Incessantly calling and texting whoever has stopped giving a remedy for you isn’t OK – it demonstrates controlling behavior and inadequate boundaries. It really is frightening for the average person on the receiving end also. Hard though it may be, the best response is always to ahead make an effort to move.

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