Do Men Prefer Virgins

There’s an abiding cultural script that says that men fantasize about virgins – specifically, being the person who “pops the cherry” of a lovely, innocent young woman. It’s everywhere from high-brow literature to men’s magazines to blockbuster films to porn, and contains at its core the theory that virginity is really a precious symbol of a woman’s purity. Virginity for men is really a whole different story, needless to say: you only have to think about films just like the 40-Year Old Virgin to comprehend that, for men, virginity sometimes appears being an embarrassing declare that guys should try to rid themselves of immediately.
Hence, we’ve a gendered (and heteronormative) conception of virginity: It’s embarrassing for men to be virgins and they also should make an effort to have sexual activity immediately, but virginity is often a prize for women and the longer a female keeps her chaste state the more admirable she happens to be. This sets up some type of zero sum game where men try to “take” a woman’s virginity and women try to withhold it from all nevertheless the most desirable of men (and only 1 time they’ve centered on her forever). That is where the male fantasy element supposedly is essential: because virgins are rare and precious, they’re considered the very best sexual conquest for men.
CAN IT BE True That Men Prefer Virgins?
The idea that men prefer virgins is increasingly must look like a dated stereotype, & most teenagers who spoke to AskMen felt a virgin fantasy was creepy and old-fashioned. “EASILY was dating someone also it proved that she was a virgin, I’d be surprised but non-judgmental about any of it,” says Mark, 26. “However the idea that I would be going out specifically looking for virgins doesn’t sit right with me. It’s seedy and makes me think of gross old men who can’t be around women their own age.”
Vince, 28, said he lost his virginity to another virgin when he was 17, but that he hasn’t since had sex with someone inexperienced before, nor has he sought to. “As you get older, it becomes less and less of a thing you think about. It might be really unusual to come across a virgin my age, and I don’t tend to date women that are a lot younger than me.”
“Virginity is really a weird concept,” explains Jay, 30. “If you give 50 blowjobs but haven’t had penis-in-vagina sex, are you currently a virgin? If you are a lesbian who hasn’t had sex with a guy but has slept with a large number of women, are you currently are virgin? The complete idea is artificial and unstable, and I must say i don’t understand why guys get hung up about any of it.”
What’s Wrong With Fetishizing Virgins?
Vince hit upon among the reasons that searching for virgins is increasingly seen as creepy and wrong: virgins are often very young women. There are many reasons that women may become within their 20s or beyond but still not need had sex, but, generally, virginity does have a tendency to correlate with younger age.
Men who sleep with virgins that are much younger than them (within their teens, say, while they’re well to their 20s or older) are benefiting from a disturbing power dynamic that could affect girls at a vulnerable stage of their lives. Young women might like the idea of being with an older man but aren’t yet mature enough to fully understand the ramifications, and men who take advantage of this state of confusion and immaturity are acting in a predatory manner. As more and more men are accused of sexual harassment and assault against women over whom they wield significant power, society is starting to better understand how wrong – and prevalent – that behavior is. Men who seek out young, “innocent” women fall along that spectrum of creepy, predatory behavior.
What Does Preferring Virgins Have To Do With Slut-Shaming?
Men who seek out virgins often have another problematic motivating factor: They’re intimidated or grossed out by experienced women. This type of man views women through the lens of the Madonna/whore binary, taking into consideration the latter “sluts” or “hoes” that are, subsequently, less moral, clean and desirable than their more inexperienced counterparts.
The theory that women are degraded with a lot of sexual partners – or perhaps a high “body count” – is really a type of slut-shaming and is commonly held by people who have dangerously retrograde ideas about women. Thankfully they’re becoming significantly less common in 2017, when men are decreasingly apt to be hung up on the amount of sexual partners a female has had.
Are Men Who SEARCH FOR Virgins Insecure?
Finally, some men prefer virgins as a result of own insecurity: they feel self-conscious that women might compare them to previous partners, so they look for girls who’ve never really had other folks. While sexual insecurity is normal, it’s healthier to simply search for partners who make their lovers feel safe and who never compare them to others rather than only sleeping with virgins – whom, it should be noted, are equally capable of being judgmental during intercourse than women who’ve had sex before. The real key is always to sleep with decent, ethical, caring people, which can not be determined by “body count.”

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