Dating Sites

Online dating is really a pretty popular topic at AskMen really. I’ve discussed it along with just about everybody else with some type of computer and word processor. But what we don’t always hear about are people’s firsthand experiences. That is why Ouiser Boudreaux (a pseudonym) created A(n)nals Of INTERNET DATING , a niche site where online daters can share their horror stories. Naturally, a lot of the biggest gaffes result from us men, therefore i sat down with Ouiser (love that band) over Gchat to learn more concerning the site, why men could be such huge creeps and what we are able to do to avoid turning up on her blog.
The conversation has been edited and condensed for clarity.
Ian Lang (IL): First things first: Are you currently, in fact, seated?
Ouiser Boudreaux (OB): Yes. Why?
IL: Don’t be worried about it. I just can’t stand to lie to my readers.
OB: OK…
IL: THEREFORE I guess first it’d be great in the event that you gave us a short synopsis of how and just why you have started with the website.
OB: Sure. I started the website because I was internet dating , and so were some of my friends. We were all on the receiving end of some pretty bizarre messages, which we’d circulate by email to one another and roundly mock. One day, while bored at work, I decided it could be fun to put that mockery on the broader internet and A(n)nals of Online Dating was born.
IL: Imagine that: Guys on a free dating site are creeps.
OB: Ha. Shocking, I know!
IL: So it started with just your experiences, but you take submissions now, correct? How many of those flood your inbox every week?
OB: I do take submissions now, and nearly everything I publish is submitted by readers. I’ve never actually counted how many I get in a week, but a solid amount – depending on how regularly I’m posting, I’d say anywhere from 50 to 100 submissions weekly. And, of course, the best is when I get the same submission from multiple people – so one guy was copying and pasting a nearly identical creepy message to multiple women.
IL: I imagine there’s a fair bit of that. I used to be on a site myself ,and even bothering to send a small but obviously personalized message seemed to set me apart. Of the submissions you get, would you say it’s mostly men?
OB: It really does! Those are the only ones I to reply, personally. Yeah, the submissions I get are 80-90% submitted by women that are getting crazy messages from heterosexual men.
IL: Any theories as to the reasons that is? After all, in my experience, it is the men who have to accomplish a lot of the blind initial messaging, so it’s a law-of-averages thing – with so many messages maybe, some are bound to be creepy.
OB: I really believe it probably is part a law-of-averages thing and part a cultural thing. Despite increased gender equality, it’s still expected that men do the asking out and the very best with regards to dating. So men pick who they wish to date, and women either accept or reject. And online that’s magnified as you’ve got a lot of folks from which to select and none of the visual cues that enable you to differentiate between creeps and not-creeps in true to life.

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