Dating Advice For Straight Men From Gay Guys

Dating is such a universal concept. No matter your sexuality, the end goal is still the same: meet somebody who you can know, kiss, have sexual intercourse, fall in love and see where that goes.
So when it involves mastering the art of dating, advice is easily transferrable between two friends that are interested in the various genders. Meaning, as a gay man, I could still pass some wise words of wisdom along to the macho, bro-esque friends I’ve that are fumbling in terms of choosing the best girl.
As the gay dating world is fraught using its own problems, straight guys could learn something or two by observing how things are done under a rainbow umbrella.
If you are still questioning my qualifications, below, you will discover a few tips and tricks I’ve pulled from my homosexual handbook which can help you land the girl of your dreams.
1. Be Direct TOGETHER WITH YOUR Approach
The culture of Grindr (an app for gay men if you are seeking to get in, get off and obtain out) is among directness. Guys state just what they need, whether that’s serious dating, an informal fling or perhaps a one-time anonymous hookup, and that online directness is translated in to the real world.
We have no issue making things clear from the get-go. Sure, some individuals aren’t a fan if you are extremely direct, but generally, we appreciate the honesty in order to avoid wasting any time. An issue I’ve observed in straight relationships is really a insufficient clarification of what both partners want and expect. If you are searching for a more committed, long-term relationship, let her understand that. Conversely, it’s totally fine if you are not searching for anything too serious.. so long as you say that.
Know what this involves? Doing that big, dark and scary thing where you see your feelings. Articulate what’s happening in your heart and head, even though it certainly makes you sweat just a little. Yes, the ensuing conversation may be a little uncomfortable, nevertheless, you owe it to her to be upfront in what you’re expecting (and searching for) in a relationship.
2. Forget Typical Hollywood ClichГ©s
Gay representation in popular culture has expanded exponentially within the last few decades, but there’s still an overwhelming quantity of non-heterosexual characters in TV and movies. Once we are so rarely reflected on-screen, a silver lining to the problem is that queer culture isn’t as bogged down by Hollywood clichГ©s about romance and love.
This makes it better to accept the truth that in the real world, dating is complicated and messy. A big piece of advice for straight guys: Forget everything you’ve seen in the movies. Remember that iconic scene in “Say Anything” when John Cusack shows up to his love interest’s house unannounced and stands under her window with a giant boom box blaring Peter Gabriel? That’s all fine and good in Hollywood, but replicating that in real life will probably get a restraining order. Life isn’t like the movies. You’re not going to save the day, get the girl and wrap everything up in a nice little bow in record time.
You’ll be better prepared to deal with the curveballs and nasty surprises of dating if you abandon those ancient examples that may do more harm than good.
3. YOU SHOULDN’T BE Afraid to Communicate During Sex
Gay sex is complicated. As you could probably guess, it might be tricky for two men to negotiate who puts what where and how. This means communication is key, before and during the act itself. The straight population may want to consider a similar approach to sex – instead of just running through a regular stand-by routine, engage your partner in discussion about likes and dislikes, boundaries and so forth.
First and foremost, get consent. You should always be checking in to be sure that she’s cool with whatever you’re doing sexually. Also, the sex will be better if you stop thinking with your penis. Sure, it’s the star of the show, but start paying attention to her verbal and physical responses in bed. Despite what you may believe about how experienced you are, there’s always things left to understand, and she will educate you on something or two about being truly a great lover in the event that you let her.
4. Take a Hint
Rejection, while unfortunate, can be an unavoidable the main dating world. These directness of the gay dating scene implies that rejections could be particularly blunt, but there is no point in sometimes hung up on those that aren’t thinking about you. If you’re likely to survive in the gay dating scene, you should overcome it and take rejection in stride.
Straight guys could reap the benefits of adopting an identical mentality. Do not let persistence to mold into stalking. Whenever a woman turns you down, she doesn’t mean try harder.” She means obtain the hell from me.” It isn’t fair or considerate to help keep bugging her about any of it, and just why expend all that extra energy when there’s other worthwhile women on the market who would be ready to offer you a shot?
5. Be Cool With Her Exes
Gay dating pools are smaller and for that reason more incestuous – most gay dudes of an identical age living in a specific area will know one another, and will involve some overlapping romantic and/or sexual histories. In gay culture, it’s common to be around an ex, your partner’s ex or perhaps a failed romantic prospect who’d you rather not see.. nevertheless, you just cope with it.
This is a significant skill for straight visitors to develop, too. Whether you come across your personal ex or the ex of somebody, be cool about any of it. This isn’t to state that you should not be upset following a bad break-up, or perhaps a bit on edge meeting a girlfriend’s ex – those feelings are totally natural – but don’t allow them dominate completely. You don’t need to put on a big show of how comfortable you feel, but just be mature about it. Act civil and cordial. Those interactions don’t have to be a big deal if you don’t make them into a big deal.
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