Bad Tinder Bios THAT PRODUCE Women Swipe Left

Hi, I’m Lauren Duca, a writer and human woman based in New York, who met her soon-to-be husband on OkCupid I know, right? Modern love! Anyway, after my own online dating success, and time spent as a culture writer studying the semiotics of the medium (read: scrolling through Tinder with friends), I have a good idea of what works and what 100% definitely doesn’t work when crafting an online dating profile. So I’m going to be helping AskMen readers in their quest to find life partners (or consistent casual sex, or whatever it is they’re looking for). Let’s take a look at a profile a reader recently sent in:
Hi AskMen,
I consider myself a catch (OK, I have a bit of an ego). My past partners and people who’ve crushed on me have explained that I’m very handsome – I don’t believe that is the case, really, but I’m at the very least a 7/10, an 8 probably, and higher than that should you like skinny definitely, bookish dudes. On Tinder I struggle Yet. When I really do get matches they have a tendency to result in good convos plus some halfway-decent dates pretty, but I understand friends of mine which are frankly not that special that are getting wayyyyy more matches than me. What am I doing wrong? Is my profile terrible secretly? Please help.
Hi sender,
Thanks for writing in! Immediately, I want one to know I’ll keep things real with you because I respect your bravery in submitting you to ultimately feedback. It might get yourself a too real little, but it’s simpler to be offended by me when compared to woman of your respective dreams swiping in the incorrect direction due to a dumb joke you manufactured in your Tinder bio, right?
To start, a significant thing to learn is your Tinder profile contains a lot more information than you almost certainly realize. It’s as though you’re sending an incredible number of tiny messages to the mind inbox of whoever scrolls by. That’s sort of true in true to life too, except with Tinder the messages are within a way that’s static and measurable. In simpler terms, it’s a breeze to forget there’s a genuine living, breathing person behind the package of 75-ish words and some photos, so each of the major signals you’re sending out become super important. In your time and effort of honing in on each one of these, I’ll rate each component of your profile on a scale of 1-10 from the potential perspective of prospective matches, 1 being MOVE AWAY FROM ME,” 10 being Fantasizing in regards to a tastefully rustic wedding.”
The Photos
Crouching/Brooklyn Bridge Pic: 5 / 10
This could either be considered a tongue-in-cheek tourist-y photo or perhaps a shot from the rap video recorded by an English professor for teaching purposes. This is a little too corny for a profile pic, so you might desire to move it further down in the order. That’s your choice, though. How corny can you desire to seem, sender?
Silhouette/Dark Room Pic: 7 / 10
Oh, that certain contains multitudes. It’s extremely difficult to see any discernible features, so it’s about your essence really. It’s about you being artsy and enigmatic, for instance a live-action Magritte painting. Personally i believe like we will be able to shift this relative back one invest the lineup, though. Let’s insert an instant of pause, Who’s this man? What could he be thinking?” Then, bam, yet another of you being good-looking generally.
Mirror/Tasteful Sweater Pic: 9 / 10
This is great! Your home is very nice somewhere, or this is simply not the place where your home is maybe, but that is the impression it offers. Wearing a good sweater in a good place is really a the non-drug-dealer’s version of fanning out cash with a shirt of their abs. Hmm, he is well-to-do! ” your future wife may think when passing this photo. Money should not mean so much, but damn if it doesn’t. Anyway, this is a good photo and it should maybe be your main profile pic.
The one where you are drinking a beer in the woods: 8 / 10
I like this. It says you’re into nature, but not, like, a backpacking amount. You’re down to drink a, beer have a little fun, maybe in the woods. All good stuff, fun, vaguely manly man vibes are emanating from this one. Also, that’s a great jacket.
Final Pic Score: 7.25 / 10
The Bio
I am giving you approximately a 5 for this bio, but if you are intentionally trying to communicate rude man with a superiority complex” via the first half, then it’s a 9.83 out of 10. This needs work, sender! Some very specific thoughts:
I only drink fair trade coffee and bottled water”: ? / 10
I cannot possibly think of a reason that drinking fair trade coffee would be the first type of a Tinder bio, yet am much more confused concerning the declaration of one’s drinking water in bottles. Isn’t that truly worse for the surroundings? Are you currently bragging about damaging the surroundings?
I’m smarter than your ex…”: 3/10
Ugh, sender, reads like something a bumper sticker would say. Or among those mini memes people used to create on Myspace. You do not know who her ex was! Maybe it had been Neil deGrasse Tyson. Anyway, don’t compare your intelligence to somebody else’s, especially not hypothetically.
.. And I earn more income than him, too”: Still 3/10
Oh, sender, no. My apologies that is a second paragraph about one sentence, nonetheless it is bad and must go. Don’t discuss your wages in your bio. Let your pictures talk with it, like for the reason that nice-sweater-nice-apartment pic, or that great jacket from the drinking-beer-in-the-woods pic. Those send enough signs you are not delinquent, and when you want to impress her further, maybe offer to cover dinner as soon as you two venture out. Please keep carefully the dollar signs out of your actual text though. That’s what’s for.
Divorce Reference: 4/10
I actually can’t tell should you be serious. When you are kidding, delete this. If you’re not kidding, delete this also. (Obviously, you need to tell an individual you’re seriously interested in dating you’ve been divorced, but it is a significant quantity of to process in a inch of space.)
Planned Parenthood Reference: 1/10
I’m not averaging this in your total score, please take it off of my sight.
Sex Reference: 8/10
I really like this, sender! It is a little goofy also it takes some pressure off that first interaction. Lord knows what 99% of individuals on Tinder appear to be searching for (it’s sex, they’re searching for sex).
Final Bio Score: 5 / 10
In Conclusion
Your Tinder is shrink-wrapped, vacuum-packed version of you as an individual. It’s basically YOU, but as a flashcard someone sees and says, Yes” or HELL NO” to in a matter of seconds. Look at a first date. You’re all decked out, smelling of tasteful cologne, and ready to dole out any true amount of endearing anecdotes. That idealized version of you is what your Tinder profile ought to be selling. There’s totally somebody who will grow to love everything about you, however they don’t need to start to see the iffy elements of that package upfront. So, let’s eliminate Planned Parenthood comment, shift the nice sweater around leading of the photo lineup, and land some first dates with the perfect you you may be.

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