Are Beautiful Women Difficult To Approach

The Dating Nerd is really a shadowy figure whose identifying and whereabouts details remain unknown. What we can say for certain is that he is actually, really good at dating. He’s been on more dates than you can shake a lengthy bar tab at, and he’s here to help the average guy step his dating game up a notch – or several.
The Question
Hi Dating Nerd,
Maybe this is shallow, but I don’t care. I’m kind of an average-looking dude. Maybe a bit ugly, but not so drastically. I’ve hooked up several times in my own life, and had the right relationships (only 1 longer when compared to a year, but nonetheless), however now I’m 25 and I’m realizing that I’ve never dated a beautiful woman. At the very least in my own life once, I wish to sleep with someone beautiful. That isn’t crazy, right? The nagging problem is, I’ve no basic idea how exactly to do it. Usually I don’t have even the guts to approach them. I’m great at grinning at them awkwardly and striking up an unbelievable conversation with among my buddies or flirting hard with any girl who doesn’t seem drastically out of my league, but as of this right time in my entire life, I ask myself simply, “Imagine easily wasn’t deathly afraid of beautiful women?” What do I really do really? Is it simple for a normal guy around highly attractive people now?
– Single Sam
The Answer
Hi Single Sam,
The solution yes is! Absolutely. Beautiful women aren’t unattainable. They’re even, like, type of attainable. Yes, for you personally even. Especially if you listen closely from what I’m about to let you know. (I’ll preface it with two disclaimers, however.)
First, you can find no guarantees here. If you need the magic spell that’ll make the world’s most beautiful women love you, it generally does not exist. All I’ll do is offer you some general pointers, and some advice about how to think about the situation. And if you don’t believe me when I say that there aren’t any surefire arcane secret techniques here, you can go to a pickup artist forum, learn a bunch of scripted conversational tricks, buy a weird feathered hat, and strike out with a bunch of random women at the mall for six months, and become even more frustrated and confused.
Second, I want to address the question of shallowness. It would be easy for me to say, “Sam, you’re a shallow idiot. You need to date predicated on interpersonal chemistry, not looks.” Also to a degree, that is true. But I also understand that telling people what they must be attracted to is nearly always a fitness in futility. If dating a lovely woman is something you crave jaw-droppingly, then it’s something you crave, and pretending it is not will still only gnaw at you. Besides, you seem level-headed to identify that beauty is merely that – beauty enough. A beautiful woman is not any more or less more likely to cause you to happy in other regards than an average-looking one. If, at the very least that you experienced once, starting up with one will set your brain relaxed, then who am I to inform you that is clearly a fool’s errand? Likely, your happiest relationship will be with the one who makes you happiest, and that is something you can’t fake, whatever how anyone looks.
Now, onto the substance of your respective question. What you ought to understand is that beautiful women are people exactly. Like everybody else, they worry about whether people like them, get lonely in the heart of the night time, and occasionally take some weird poops. They don’t really breathe a different sort of oxygen than you do. If they leave the bar, they don’t really hop right into a private jet that takes them to Mount Olympus. This can be obvious for you, but it’s not to numerous of the men who rant about “beautiful women,” so I’m dwelling onto it, because I believe it’s important
The stunning women you’re conjuring up in your mind aren’t aliens, though a great deal of guys appear to think they’re. But if that’s the method that you approach them, that isn’t them, that’s you – this is the weird stuff you positioned on them. For a whole lot of people, considering beautiful people triggers some weird truly, deep, unhealthy intensity of feeling probably. It might be biological, or it might have something regarding seeing so many beautiful people every time we look at anything (televisions, movie screens, billboards, etc.)
And, so, therefore, beautiful women suffer from weird behavior all of the right time. They get envy from other women, frequently, and, from men, they understand this unfortunate cocktail of uninvited affection and, often, arbitrary resentment. Everyone’s throwing feelings at them. Beautiful people hate this. Sure, it’s nice to be pretty, but it is also very, very annoying. Because people behave around you erratically. Correspondingly, just about the most refreshing things you can encounter, if you’re very beautiful, is someone who just talks to you like, y’know, you’re a normal person. Someone who’ll chit-chat with you about random nonsense, and listen to what you’re saying, and make fun of you if you’re being stupid. When you don’t have normal human companionship like that, life gets weirdly lonely. Everyone wants to please you, but nobody can just hang out with you.
Which means that pick is be normal. Act, in case you are talking to a lovely woman , as if you would with other people. Or at least approximate that, to the extent that one could. This isn’t easy, I understand. That it is pretty hard. And, unfortunately, in order to to create it easier would be to talk to beautiful women more. I don’t mean you have to approach them in food markets or in cafГ©s. Usually do not force yourself upon unsuspecting victims. Another guy out there has already been doing this.
But moments of interaction between strangers happen each day, in true to life and online. Next time you’re in an instant of interaction with a lovely woman, treat it being an opportunity. Not in a awkward way where you are looking to get something as a result, but imagine your endgame is this: She should think you’re just being friendly. Be polite, smile, try to make her laugh, and leave it at that. Let conversations quickly bubble up and die. Leave without requesting a genuine number or wanting to extend the conversation. You are not attempting to ensure it is a lot more than it really is. You are not more likely to become a battle-scarred veteran whose pulse will barely rise when he’s speaking with a Victoria’s Secret model, but you will definitely be a little more chill, that is key.
Before you do this, there’s something else you should remember. That is that, lucky for you, in my experience, women are generally less shallow than men. To simplify things dramatically: Many women care about men’s social status and behavior just as much as their looks, if not more, and, men, well, typically, not so much. Is it innate in us or just a product of how society functions? Again, that’s not for me to say. It’s not true of all men and all women, obviously. Some women are absolutely shallow, and some men fall in love with homely but fascinating women.
But normally, it’s fair to say that an ugly guy has a better shot at dating a beautiful woman than vice versa. And it’s an important thing to keep in mind, because it gives an ugly-to-average-looking guy like you a great deal of leeway. Updating your bone structure can be carried out, thanks to the most recent in cosmetic surgery techniques, but updating the way you present yourself socially and interpersonally is way easier, and definitely cheaper.
The first step, actually, could be accomplished today, if you do some disposable income to play with: Get yourself a few new outfits. Dress nicer. Unless you know how to do this, the standard go-to, as far as I’m concerned, is black leather oxford shoes – women notice shoes – some nice jeans really, a blue oxford shirt, and a wristwatch. It is not difficult. Alternatively, it is possible to walk into an excellent clothing store just, point at a mannequin that looks good, and say, Give me that outfit.” This may save you time and effort. Bring a female friend with you, in case you have the type of (and I encourage someone to, because, beyond friends being a positive thing generally just, female friends can help you see brand-new perspectives with regard to plenty of things in life) will help.
The next thing is more complicated slightly, but it is also not particularly cryptic: Do cool stuff. Be considered a guy would you interesting and/or prestigious things. This goes an extended, long way. If you are sort of schlubby, but you’re a business owner, or some form of athlete, or any sort is had by you of interesting life, your dating prospects will hugely improve. What this signifies for you personally, reader, I’m uncertain, because I’m not your daily life coach. But if you are working at a dead-end job, and all your passions are lying dormant, manage that first, before fretting about seducing anyone. A guy who’s driven, passionate, talented and/or experiencing some type of tangible success is really a hot commodity on the dating market
I say this from personal experience. Behind my Dating Nerd mask, I’m sort of a weird-looking guy. But women like getting together with writers, and an effort is made by me to accrue unusual life experiences in order that I have at the very least, like, three interesting what things to say somewhat. And you’ll be totally offended if you saw many of the insanely attractive women I’ve needed to be in a position to date, because I’m slightly unique of one’s average dude. I’m not that different. All I’ve done is distinguish myself a bit from the overall masses of desperate dudes constantly pawing at any beautiful woman around the corner. Do exactly the same, and you’re well on the way, my friend.

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