An NYC Couple Making $350,000 A Year

Everyone wants money, yet discussing it within the parameters of a relationship can be intimidating. When handled incorrectly, finances can crumble an enchanting partnership – however when done in tandem, the proper money conversations can go quite a distance. That looks different for differing people, though. Welcome to Money Talks, AskMen’s new series on the partnership between our money and our relationships. Let’s discuss cents, baby.
For this NEW YORK pair, soon to be married, shared financial beliefs form one of many pillars that build the building blocks for what they both say confidently is a lifelong love. Just what exactly do their lives appear to be from the financial perspective?
AskMen: Are you experiencing various philosophies on spending?
Melanie: We make an effort to take it easy now and purchase events, concerts, travel but may also be trying to spend less for future years by investing.
Shaun: We prefer experience gifts over material gifts. We also prefer to buy vintage and used household items instead of new, as you can find already enough things created.
Does among you have significantly more debt compared to the other? Regardless, could it be something you discuss?
Shaun: Neither folks has debt. If we were to defend myself against any debt, we’d both discuss and consent to do so. Trust and communication are big for us.
Melanie: I was raised in a family where my dad worked, and my mum was a stay-at-home mum. My dad worked (and still works) hard to give his family everything we need, and I was raised to understand that my parents were equal, they just had two different jobs. The only way my dad could work as hard as he could, was because my mum took care of everyone and everything from the non-monetary perspective.
Shaun: My parents divorced when I was at an early age, so I don’t recall financial discussions. I do recall having my college paid for from my family, leaving me with no student debt after I graduated. That was huge. I would like in order to return the favor to our children if we are lucky enough to have them. Whatever we decide to do as a family regarding finances and decisions won’t have anything to do with gender.
How did your past romantic experiences affect your current approach to finances in the relationship?
Melanie: I had been just about independent with my money up until this point. All my previous relationships were never serious enough to warrant a discussion of money and finances.
Shaun: I have always been upfront and clear about finances. It’s the only way to be.
Is there ever an erotic element to money? Can your dropping dough on a fancy hotel, an extravagant dinner, or expensive lingerie be a turn on?
Melanie: Not exactly but I recently spent a great deal of money on a ” boudoir ” aim for Shaun’s birthday. Does that count?
Shaun: We don’t see either folks spending money being an individual, meaning easily put my charge card right down to pay a restaurant bill, or vice versa, we view it as shared money. Deciding to splurge on a fancy hotel or dinner is really a start for both folks.
What about dates, can you split the check, or does one usually cover it?
Melanie: In terms of going on dates and vacations, it generally does not really matter who will pay for it. It all originates from the same pool.
Shaun: Agreed.
So are you experiencing a joint bank-account?
Melanie: Right now they’re separate, but we have been talking about developing a joint account.
How does one handle individual expenses which are non-necessities, such as for example hobbies?
Melanie: If it’s a person hobby, like fitness, for instance, we just shell out the dough on our own bank cards, and then settle the bills. We trust one another to create smaller purchase decisions on our very own, and only should discuss big ticket items. For instance, I often go shopping, but if I were to drop a significant amount on a luxury item, I would give Shaun the respect of talking to him about it first. We really do think of our money as shared, so if I spend a lot of money – that could have a negative impact on the safety of our financial future.
This can be a scary thing to speak about, but do you have a plan in place should you break up?
Melanie: We are engaged and plan on being together for the rest of our lives. We are not discussing a divorce option, but we did just setup a life insurance plan with our financial adviser in the event that something tragic happens to one of us. We’re also going to meet with an attorney to share with you setting one another up with “power of attorney,” again if something unfortunate happens and we have to make decisions with respect to each other.
Shaun: I don’t think either folks sees obtaining a divorce as another option and neither folks wants a prenup. We are married sooner or later in the foreseeable future, so everything will undoubtedly be shared soon.
So can you discuss finances surrounding over serious issues, such as for example your upcoming marriage and future children?
Melanie: Yes, money is section of our regular conversation. We hired a financial planner to greatly help us put some structure round the conversation.
I understand you merely underwent a large renovation on your own apartment, did you learn and grow out of this experience?
Melanie: We were quite lucky for the reason that we didn’t need to reside in our apartment while we were renovating. We virtually split the expense of the renovation, and at the time we started the plans we were not engaged. I originally wanted to have some sort of legal agreement, since technically I don’t own the apartment (yet), but in the end, I trust Shaun, and we have a solid relationship. He’s my partner, best friend and it doesn’t hurt that he does finance for a living.
Shaun: Renovations are stressful, and this helped make us stronger.
How did you finance the renovations? Was it something you saved up for?
Melanie: It was a combination of savings, some money from family, and our monthly income that made up the total renovation budget.
How does your financial advisor help? Would you advise other couples to get one?

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