The most important thing to consider before you misrepresent yourself online is that a woman, when you meet her for the first time, will feel like you’ve been lying to her.
If you think about what’s most important to women in a relationship, it’s trust. If your online profile is full of lies, a woman will immediately not trust you. Then, regardless of how good of a salesman you might be, you will have to spend all your time convincing her that the person you really are is not a liar.
So, let’s go through four of the biggest and most common online profile lies that men tell, and how each of these will backfire on you.
1. Using an old photo
One of most common lies men tell are through the photos they use in their online profiles. Men will often put up pictures of themselves that were taken at the peak of their attractiveness. They might post pictures of themselves weighing 20 or 30 pounds less, or with more hair.
The problem with doing this is that any woman you meet online will be expecting to meet the person she sees in those pictures — as you look in those pictures. It really has nothing to do with “how” you look; it’s simply the fact that you do not look as you portrayed yourself to look. In other words, your online profile was a lie. When you meet a woman after having posted these non-current photos of you, her first thought about you is not going to be an evaluation of your actual appearance, but rather that you are someone who wasn’t honest about yourself.
What most guys do then is defend themselves. They’ll tell the woman, “Don’t worry, I’m going to get back into shape.” Defending yourself is no way to start a date. You don’t want to be fighting an uphill battle on a date — especially a first date. The best way to start is with a woman being excited about getting to know you and what you’re all about.
So, here’s what you want to do. Stay away from professional photos, as they tend to make you look like you are trying too hard. Instead, go out with a friend and have him take some current pictures of you throughout the day. That way, women can see what you really look like. Also, make sure you’re wearing different clothes in each of the photos, so it doesn’t look staged. The most important thing to remember is to have fun with this! It’s your first impression (along with your online profile).
RELATED: 10 Tinder Profile Picture Dos and Don’ts
2. Lying about your age
Another area of where men lie on their online profiles is age. So many men dating online lie about their age because they are perpetually chasing younger women. Men who are 45 years old will say they’re 39; men who are 55 years old will say they’re 45.
When you lie about your age, you will only fool women until you actually meet them in person. If you say that you’re 39 years old when you’re really 45, a woman will know you’re not 39 years old the minute you show up to that first date. She’ll probably, in fact, ask you how old you really are. That’s when most guys give the standard “why I lied” answer and say, “I look a lot younger than my age in person, and if you knew I was 45 you probably wouldn’t have gone out with me.”
Let me tell you something: If this is a 28- or 29-year-old woman who said she was looking for a guy up to age 39, then you’re right that she probably won’t want to go out with you again — now that she knows you’re 45.
If she stated that she was looking to meet someone only within a certain age range, then that was a requirement of hers, and not a loose guideline. She won’t want to go out with you again, not only because you are not what she already plainly said she was looking for, but also (once again) because she will see you as someone she can’t trust. You’ve already lied to her once.
If you’re looking to date younger women, then online is not the place for you to find them. Meet them in person. People online want to meet people who fall within the parameters of what they specify in their online identity.
Also, what do you think lying about your age on your online profile says about you? It says that you’re not really comfortable about where you are in your life. If you’re a guy chasing much younger women, it may suggest to her that you are emotionally immature. Maybe it’s time you stopped chasing the dream, and started to get real about who you are.